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May 1, 2012 / dcwisdom

I hate those things you can’t live without…

Today’s posting is inspired by my friend Julie of jmgoyder Downunder.

Actually, I brought this subject up in a reply to her recent post, and the older I get and actually need this appliance, the more I resent it.  In fact, I gave a speech about the subject several years ago that garnered several awards in Toastmasters International.  One would never guess that such a topic would receive and enjoy so much attention.

Disclaimer:  I’m not trying to be crass or disrespectful.  However, it is a subject that should not be avoided just because of what it covers.  More than half the population of the US is affected and less worldwide.  Most women hate them, including myself; it’s a necessary evil.  Men certainly hate them.  Victoria’s Secret, amongst many other fashion companies, loves them.  Today’s topic is the lowly brassière.  (Find the interesting history of the thing here.)  (Mom, if you’re reading this, switch screens now.)

My first recollection of seeing a woman apply a bra was dramatic.  The woman wasn’t my mother.  I was a young girl; my guess about the time would be 1960.   My mom, her friend Martha, her teenage son (who drove), and I were traveling to Austin, Texas, to watch a high school state basketball tournament.  We drove all night and stopped at daybreak to change clothes.  I remember standing in the restroom and watching Martha, who was well-endowed, apply her bra.  I clearly remember my thought:  Gaaahhhhh!  Being so young, I lowered my head and peeped at her under my eyebrows thinking she couldn’t see my eyes watching her.  That was my first recollection of seeing big breasts.

In the era of the hippie (mid 1960s) and when I was in junior high, my family and I vacationed high in the Colorado Rockies at Lake Irwin.  To pass to the more remote camp sites, vehicles had to cross the spillway.  The lake was not dammed, and the spillway was several yards long and only a car-width wide.  That day, a few inches of water spilled over into a great fall and river many feet below.  However, a young hippie girl lifted the fear of crossing the spillway.  At the entrance, she stood bra-less in a white t-shirt.  My dad, being the breast man that he was, stopped to “question” her about crossing the spillway.  I just stared, as did Dad.  Never had I seen a woman in a white shirt without a bra.

(I will insert no graphics.  I’m a good person.)

Rarely have I worn a really comfortable one.  In my mind, a good bra is one that feels invisible.  I’ve worn crummy.  One night, the women folk of my family and I were traveling to where-I-don’t-remember.  (Bras and traveling:  is there a connection?)  The later the hour, the more uncomfortable I was.  Finally, I just couldn’t take the discomfort any longer.  I announced, “I HATE this bra!”  I unhooked, ungirthed, rolled down the window, and flung that stupid thing as far as I could.   That action shocked and awed.  I think one sister followed suit.  I can only imagine what travelers thought and said the next morning seeing bras on the roadside.  Someone had a wild party last night.

A friend related her story to me.   She, her sister, and their husbands vacationed at a national park.  As a joke and come-on to their husbands, the sisters removed their undergarments and hung them in a tree near the cabin and hid themselves nearby.  Before the husbands returned from fishing, the park ranger happened by and spied the garments.  The sisters called out to the ranger, “Leave those things alone, or else!”  The ranger didn’t stick around for the “or else.”

All that being said, you can clearly understand how I feel about the bindings.  If age didn’t bring certain biological changes in shape, I would certainly enter late hippie-hood (do you like this word?) in bra-less fashion.  However, being the good (and aging) person I am, I’ll stay with tradition.  Dangit.

Peace and love.  Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.  God bless Israel.  God help America.

 

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11 Comments

  1. tanna / May 2 2012 6:19 AM

    LOL!! I hate the dang things, too!! Maybe we are JUST OLD ENOUGH to have a bra burning! LOL! Loved this post, Debbie! hugs ~ t.

    • dcwisdom / May 2 2012 9:27 AM

      Ha! I hope you are feeling better, Tanna.

  2. marylou55 / May 2 2012 4:46 AM

    You’re the best with your posts! Always love seeing what you have to say,

    • dcwisdom / May 2 2012 9:26 AM

      You are so kind, Marylou. Thanks.

  3. Vickie / May 1 2012 11:01 PM

    Luckily, I’m less endowed so I can get by without one if need be – if I have shirt pockets – no t-shirts tho. And to Debsladybugtexas’s question: YES, THEY TO BECOME FASCINATED AT AN EARLY AGE. My Josh, being a young’un of about 6 or 7 remarked, upon seeing a lifesize painting of a Mexican dancing lady at a local restaurant (and being that she was well-endowed), ” WOW, will you look at those!””””””Much to the chagrin of his mother and the pride of his father. Heads turned in the restaurant and snickered and Dad says proudly, ” THAT’S my boy!!!”

    • dcwisdom / May 1 2012 11:36 PM

      Bahahahahaha….That’s so funny! Thanks for sharing that one, Chickie! LOL

  4. jmgoyder / May 1 2012 8:01 PM

    I love this!!

    • dcwisdom / May 1 2012 9:56 PM

      I’d like to have an old fashioned bra burning…

      • jmgoyder / May 1 2012 9:57 PM

        me too!

  5. debsladybugtexas / May 1 2012 12:28 PM

    oh you crack me up….I can just see those bras flying out the window…I’m not an endowed person…but bras are combersum…my daughter is endowed…my little britches is facinated with his aunties bras…do they become breast men at such an early age??? maybe so…

    • dcwisdom / May 1 2012 12:32 PM

      I’ve wondered that myself, Deb. haha

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