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July 12, 2011 / dcwisdom

Now, who doesn’t like a good family reunion?

Awwwww…come on.

Don’t look for me.  I took the picture.  Beginning back in 1908, give or take a year or two, my dad’s family started the family reunion tradition.  I remember pictures of probably 100+ family ancestors gathered in their Sunday finery, their stern, unsmiling faces glaring at the photographer.  My, how things have changed in 100 years!  My Great-Aunt Mildred, who is sitting in the middle of the bench with her boyfriend Edgar (Aren’t they cute!  Love has no age limit!), is the last of her generation.  It’s now the charge of Aunt Mildred and her nephews to keep this family tradition alive.

Let me give you a suggestion or two of how not to thrill your family at a family reunion:  1)  Do not gather at an old community center way out in the boondocks.  The window air conditioning units don’t function properly; the old green garage sale chair is broken and has a notebook paper note taped to the top of the chair saying Do not sit on this chair!  The decor is drab and uninviting.   2)  Don’t bring anything for the children to do.   Let them have a boring time so they want to come back next year.  3)  And, for heaven’s sake, don’t move the location.  Move the stinkin’ location!  Next year, we’re moving back to the state park where there’s swimming, paddle boats, hiking, and a toilet or two that flush.

This is my first cousin once removed, Randy.  (Ok, here’s the lesson:  Randy is my dad’s first cousin.  Since I am removed from my dad, that makes Randy and me first cousins once removed.  Randy’s children are my second cousins.  And so on…)   When I was a pre-teen/teen, I loved attending the family reunions because of Randy.  He was very cute and still is.  I enjoy seeing him every year still.  Notice his DL?  This is the first time in his life to be a Texan, and I believe he’s a bit proud of that!  As he should be! 

This is Rick and Jan.  There were also Rick and Kim.  And also Rick and Debbie (us).  Fortunately, the Rick’s are all different guys.

I keep thinking of that crazy family on satellite tv – the Browns – where four women share one guy.  They all must be a brick shy of a load!  I think those women are working hard to like each other; they talk themselves (and us) into believing they are so happy sharing one man when I think they are all insanely jealous of one another.  I mean, what right-minded woman wants to share a man with the multitudes?  Really?  While living in Utah, they shared space – communal living.  When they moved to Nevada, each wife got her own house, and they, for the most part, loved having their own spaces.  I mean, what woman doesn’t love her very own new house with her own furniture/bedroom/kitchen/bathroom?  Only the newest/youngest wanted to share spaces, but I think she has a security issue.  She’s the prettiest and skinniest one and she knows it, so she’s trying so hard to fit in and make her “sisters” love her and not be jealous.  Get real.  The others can’t stand her.  And the guy?  He’s ADD or ADHD.  Or on drugs.  Or lovin’ the fact that his show is milking TLC to show off his perversion.  It’s all about the sex and money.  Have to keep the perverted drama going to fund the family payroll.  And, of course, I’m watching.

Probably by the first family reunion, the guy will be dead.  The man has no center or balance.  Too many people are pulling him, and it’s all his fault!  He flits from one house to the other.  He wants everyone all together, but those s/w’s aren’t so accommodating.  So, are the s/w’s aunts or mothers?  Does that make their kids halfs or cousins?   Halfs once-twice-three-times-you’re-removed?  Can anyone explain this trouble?   Too much devilish confusion to me!

It’s so nice to be just Rick and Debbie with no monkey business.  Sure makes the family reunions simpler.

Have to get Mom in the picture for documentation.  She’s so very cute!   Y’all have a great week.  Pray for the peace of Jerusalem.  God bless Israel.  God help America!

 

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One Comment

  1. Vickie / Jul 12 2011 1:41 PM

    Hey you actually posted! You’re doing better than I am. Great family reunion – hated them when I was a kid, cuz there was NO A/C and we had to be nice to all our old aunts and uncles and one time I got my tongue stuck to a popsicle. Hurt like the devil.

    About that polygamist – he’s a nutcase and his wives are even nuttier – I wouldn’t share my man with anybody. I need 100% of his attention. Can you imagine the “honey-do” lists this gals have? He’ll never get through.

    Love the pic with your mom – I think you snuck that one in there cuz if she’s like my mom, she doesn’t particularly want her picture taken.

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