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December 30, 2010 / dcwisdom

When the world, as we know it, falls apart…

(Note:  Below are some random thoughts about a friend’s recent experience.   I am praying that her faith holds.)

When the world, as we know it, falls apart…

It wasn’t my world. It was hers. And the world of her husband, children, grandchildren. My friend was found guilty by a court of law and sentenced to life without parole. Three days before Christmas. And now in the process of being “processed” into the prison system. No one ever said life is fair.

I wonder how many women are in prison without just cause. For two years, the prosecution had ample opportunity to build a case, but because of his youth and inexperience and a big lack of evidence, a flimsy case was thrown together with two children and a jailer. No DNA. No eyewitness. Only presumption, and a hastily written note, to her detriment.

And then he played on emotions. Not fact. How did we Americans come to decide peoples’ fate based on emotions? Show us a few pictures, produce the drama, and immediately we jump to the irrational conclusion, and by a crooked finger point, that the person on trial is guilty. What about the burden of proof? Do we even care anymore?

Since when do smart, mature adults believe 100% of what children say? Children are manipulative, rarely Honest Abes. The more crud they see and experience in our culture, the more skewed their thinking and telling. Stories get twisted; lies told. Their little minds don’t always distinguish fact from fantasy. Adults should be smarter than fifth graders.

Why do we choose generally to believe the worst? I was(am) a mom that believed in loving discipline by paddle.  (I hear a bunch of “ha’s!” on that one!) I can’t recall the many times my youngest boy came into the house, crying and tattling on his brothers. Calling the older boys in, I gave them a good lickin’ while they railed, “Mom, we didn’t do anything.” It’s only now, years later, that they can laugh and tell me that Sam had set them up. But, then, I believed my sweet, crying, baby son, because, after all, he was the baby. Babies don’t lie. Was I ever a gullible parent!

And, what louse of a judge would schedule such a trial before Christmas? That’s right: Tell the jury members that their civic duty will be two weeks before the biggest holiday of the year! With family and friends expected Christmas weekend, the women are rushed, cooking, shopping, baking, and wanting to visit the children and grandchildren they haven’t seen since summer. Men have to postpone their hunting trips or close their shops, losing the holiday income. Who wants to be in court before Christmas? Hurry up. Let’s get this over so we can enjoy our holidays. What an inconvenience!

So, did the jury “hear” the truth?  Did some of them compromise for the sake of others?  Or did they only want a fast conviction? Such an inconvenience, especially here at Christmas!

I feel like I’ve lost a friend to death, of sorts. I mourn her fate and plan to visit her when I can.  What has happened to her is beyond my expression.  She’s been a friend of mine for 20 years; I’m not about to jump her ship now. 

I would like to thank Debbie at OfHisPasture for her valuable counsel and advice. It gave me hope for my friend.  Thank you, Chicklet.

God bless you all in the new year!  (Where did my font go?) 



  1. Patty / Dec 30 2010 9:07 PM

    So sorry to hear about your friend.. There is a lot of good advice from others to you. Praying that she does get a day in court to tell her story and that the truth will set her free. Too many times kids have been able to tell their side of the story that has been told to them by an adult (their parent) and it’s far from the truth. God will give justice where justice is due. You are a friend I would like to have any time I have to go to court.. Praying that justice comes around.

  2. Debbie / Dec 30 2010 1:00 PM

    When I read your heading, I assumed you’d gotten another vehicle stuck in the mud. Sorry, just one example of my warped humor. If what I said helped you…I’ve succeeded in being helpful. This is indeed a difficult situation for this woman. We can’t see something like this from a front row seat without asking ourselves, “What if this was me?”
    I know one thing for certain: God is never surprised, unprepared or wrong, so we can lean on this. What He has allowed, He is in charge of, and for some reason we may never know He has allowed this. Your friend’s life is not over; just very changed. She will now learn to lean on the Lord and hold on to Him as she never has before. Often it takes these circumstances in order to bring Him glory. Remember how many time Paul was incarcerated?
    Pray for your friend, but leave plenty of room for God to accomplish what He will in this. Please let me know where she will be housed.
    Love ya, Deb

  3. Debby Pucci / Dec 30 2010 12:57 PM

    I am so sorry to hear about this. Keeping her in my prayers. I pray that the truth will be told and it will set her free. ((HUGS))

  4. Vickie / Dec 30 2010 8:33 AM

    I know this has been a horrible experience for all involved, Deb. So very tragic. If you’ve been her friend for 20 years, you should know her pretty well, I’d say. It seems so unfair. I guess they’ll appeal her case, and hopefully, and by the grace of God, the truth will come out. I’m glad you hung by her – what would we do without our friends and people who care about us!!! I’m praying for those kids who were involved, too. I hope that their conscience will burn inside them if they have anything they need to come forward with. And what about this jailer person? They will carry a burden of guilt on themself for all their life, too. All will have to stand before the Lord someday and account for their actions. Meanwhile, a whole family’s life has been ruined forever. What grief they must feel!

    I’m glad Debbie was able to give you good advice and counsel. She is a woman of God and has alot of insight on this situation with her prison ministry. I believe the Lord brought you two together for such a reason as this. Another reason I treasure my bloggie friends…

    Love you – Vick

  5. Gay Vaughan / Dec 30 2010 8:07 AM

    I read about this case in our one-sided newspaper. I will pray for your friend and the family she leaves behind. You are a great friend and prayer warrior and one I am glad to have on my side, so I am sure your friend is too.

  6. Deb / Dec 30 2010 6:47 AM

    wow…I’m so sorry to hear this…I hope your friend keeps the faith…

  7. tanna / Dec 30 2010 6:32 AM

    I don’t know what to say, Debbie. This is a very, very difficult situation. My heart goes out to you, your friend and her family. I am glad our other Debbie could offer good counsel. Prayers going up.

  8. Mary / Dec 30 2010 4:40 AM

    Debbie, I have no idea what all happened; and it’s not my business. But my heart goes out to you and to your friend. Sometimes I just look up at the sky and wonder why God allows things. I’ve wondered that in my own life although I haven’t experienced what your friend is going through. ‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him’ is all I can say.

    You are both in my prayers. Please keep us posted.

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