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June 23, 2010 / dcwisdom

Hey, can you help me?

Just recently, I was in Wal-Mart.  I really try not to go in there too often.  I most always have a list in my hand, and it doesn’t matter what’s on my list.  There could be five items that total $20, and yet I leave the store with a $150 ticket.  And don’t accuse me of being an impulsive shopper!  It’s just that I see things and think I need them right then.  No, impulsive I’ve not.  No.

That's not me.

Living in a small town has its advantages.  You know your Wal-Mart people and your banker and your fast food drive-thru girl (Kid #5 Mary) and all the Baptist preachers in town.  You just know everyone.  Every person has their place.

So, I was in Wally World, looking for pimientos.  I’d bought them plenty of times before, but you know Wal-Mart!  They switch up their shelves about every week.  They do that to confuse the shoppers, so that you have to seek out an associate and bother them to help you find that one little thing.  They want you to wander the aisles, hunting, so that you can see other things and buy them and RUN UP THAT BILL!  They really do!  It’s part of their marketing plan.

Red pimientos

Looking for pimientos.  So, I see this great looking girl with khaki pants and a blue shirt with a name tag and walked up to her, smiling, and said, “Hey, Sue, can you help me find the pimientos?” 

Bless her heart.  She came and stood directly in front of me, took my hands in hers, looked me in the eyes, and said, “Debbie, I am Sue from the bank.  I don’t work at Wal-Mart.  Are you ok?”

Whaaaa?  …..I just melted on the floor.  Well, it’s been our joke since.  I walk into the bank and say, “Hey, Sue, can you give me a million dollars today?”  And she looks at me and says, “Are you ok?”  And I say, “Sue, I’m serious.”  But I never walk out with the million bucks.

$1,000,000

It’s funny the way the bank works and the way Wal-Mart works.  You take stuff into the bank and they keep it, and you take stuff out of Wal-Mart.  They just give it to you, don’t they?!

Maybe I really do need help…  Hmmmm?

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12 Comments

  1. Karin / Jul 1 2010 8:00 AM

    you are too funny!! and you are so YOU!! I love that!!
    uh, it’s the new normal for our age…don’t you think?
    that’s what I’m saying and I’m stickin’ with it!!

  2. mary / Jun 24 2010 3:30 PM

    It’s always so much fun to read your blog! Let me know if you get that million; I’m switching banks.

  3. toni stringer / Jun 24 2010 8:15 AM

    See I’m not the only one totally confuzed……HHHHAAAA All because you needed some pimentos.

  4. Mary Humphrey / Jun 24 2010 7:20 AM

    Can I help you? No…because I am of no help either!!! Ha ha ha. I am so confused when I shop. I turn into a dunce, seriously. I never was like this before. I drop checkbooks and walk away. I leave my keys laying on the counter and the wonderful bagger has to tell me, “Ma’am, don’t forget your keys.” Am I getting old? What is it? I turn to mush. And to NOT spend money at Wal-Mart, it is difficult. A person can find anything there, at the right price. I agree with you about the marketing plan! One more thing…yes, I forget people’s names when I run into them in a different setting. It makes a person feel like they are losing it. The key words are “feel like.” Funny!

  5. tanna / Jun 24 2010 6:55 AM

    LOL! You made me feel a little better about myself, Debbie. That sounds just like something I might do!

  6. Debbie / Jun 24 2010 5:50 AM

    It’s your hormones. Time for some Premarin. I hope I haven’t told you this story, but I’m at that age where I do that. I came out of the grocery store one day (not Walmart) and could not for the life of me remember what kind of car I drove. I feared the worse, since my momma had alzheimers, but it ended up being a case of hormone deficiency. I started on a small dose of hormones and boy did I feel good! I don’t take them anymore, but I’m sure glad I had them when I needed them. I wonder how many women are wandering around thinking they are psychotic and they really just need hormone replacement therapy!

    Debbie

  7. Diana Ferguson / Jun 24 2010 5:38 AM

    Oh my goodness!! This was so funny.

  8. jeanette / Jun 24 2010 5:37 AM

    Hee, hee, my Joe thinks I’m strange because I have so many conversations with the Walmart people, drive-thru people, gas station attendant people, yard sale people, the boy who sprays for bugs around our house, the termite guy, and just random people walking down the street. I was incredibly shy as a kid so I think I’m making up for lost time. :0)

  9. Rayanne / Jun 24 2010 5:28 AM

    Too cute!!! I know how you feel.

  10. Debby Pucci / Jun 24 2010 4:16 AM

    That is a very cute, funny story.

  11. V (stickhorsecowgirl) / Jun 24 2010 1:01 AM

    I spend all my money at Wal- Mart too! Hey, I live in Arkansas!!! So, I’ve become friends with the check-out girl at Wal-Mart (evening shift)- she works at the Heart Hospital during the day! She takes care of her aging mom and has some adult kids driving her crazy just like me! My hubby thinks it’s funny, that I know her story – she knows mine too! He’ll say–how do you know that stuff abuot her? She’s my Wal-Mart friend, I reply!!! We talk when I check out. I always go to her check out near the garden center! He just doesn’t get it! V.

  12. Vickie / Jun 24 2010 12:35 AM

    Hi, it’s me. You know, me.

    I do that, too. When I see somebody out of place, sometimes I can’t think of their name to save my neck!

    There is a new guy working at the CVS where I live that is a customer of mine at the storage place. He was being all nice to me at CVS when I picked up my scrip, and the last time he came into the storage facility, he was very rude to me. He finally realized who I was and where he knew me from. Then he started being all nicy-nice. I’ve always been nice to him. Now he has to be nice to me when he comes in to pay his storage! haha! Heap them burnin’ coals on their heads! Go on, shovel on a little more!!!

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