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January 17, 2010 / dcwisdom

The Technicals of Security Systems

34 and I installed a security system in the renovation house.  We ran hundreds of feet of little red wire to every door and window.  The solar sign is posted close to the road warning any would-be intruders that the house is armed and ready for bear.

Our neighbor has one of those automatic gates operated by a laser and a code.  He actually trusted me with the code years ago which I’ve long forgotten.  So, he doesn’t get nosy neighbors coming by or any vacuum cleaner salesmen, either.

Lots of folks around these parts have a shure-fire wireless system that never fails.  This is how they do it:

Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men’s used work boots … a really big pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo magazine. Put a dog dish beside it … a really big dish. Leave a note on your front door that says something like this:


“Bubba, Big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition – back in 30 minutes. Don’t bother the German shepherds.  I just wormed them.”

Shoot!  I could have saved mucho dinero!

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